From No To Yes

Tittle : From NO to YES without Bribing or Threatening

By    : Jerry Wyckoff PhD and Barbara C Unell

Published in 2004 by Hinkler Books Pty Ltd, Australia. 237 pages.

You hold the key to helping your child cooperate when you remember this important equation :

ability + motivation = performance

We're not only be physically & intelectually able to do what our kid's asked, we must be willing to do so.  For example, in order for your child to1 cooperate with your request to get dressed, he must know how to put on his clothes, and he needs a compelling reason to do so.

parenting problem : what's important to you may not be important to your child.  Teaching your child to cooperate takes time and patience, but the benefit last a lifetime.

Why young children say NO?

Toddlers and preschoolers live in a self-centred world.  they want to do what they want to do when they want to it.  It's developmentally appropriate for them to behave this way. They also like consistency and predictability.  therefore they say no in order to avoid :

1. the unknown, : I dont want to get on the aeroplane
2. change: I dont wanna go to a new preschool
3. failure: I dont wanna pratice piano
4. loss control : I dont wanna go to daycare

Children quickly learn not cooperating is an easy way to get their parent's attention.  Finally young children dont usually see the big picture parent have in mind when making their requests.  Young children have no sense of time, so they dont understand the urgency parents feel in may situation.

This book help parents to deal with their kids whether their kids don't want to go to some places, dont want to getting dressed, eating, playing, manners, clean up, go to school, sleeping.